My nature is to shoot from the hip. In the past decade I have lived up to that aspect of my personality to the hilt.
I have moved myself and/or my family to about 11 different domiciles and back and forth to three different countries. I suppose my career as a teacher of English to speakers of foreign languages can be blamed.
However, there is more to it than that. Lot’s more. Probably more than I can go into here without getting off the point in this post.
Over 10 years ago I quit my job in the States and took one in Finland. Three years later I moved back to the States.
After one year, watching my income dwindle to nothing in super rich California, I moved to the oil laden Middle East, where I was paid handsomely and my bank account stabilized — for a time. But again, after one year, having endured enough of an unsuitable situation, my family and I moved back to Finland.
Three years later it was back to the States. This time I was hopeful that this would be it. I intended to spend the rest of my life in the hills of southwest Virginia, the land of my childhood.
It was not to be. My job status went sour and it was back to Finland after about 20 months, this time sans fam.
The common thread in all this job switching is the ”last minute” nature of it all. In some cases, I felt like a man on a rocket ship barely escaping Planet Earth as it explodes.
I already alluded to my poverty in one of those circumstances which led me to desperate action. In another, I decided to stay in Finland and not return to the Middle East the night before my plane was to leave. The stress release after that decision was palpable.
In all of this hopping around I have had the viewpoint that God rescued me “just in time”, a term used by Henry Cloud and John Townsend in their book “God Can Make a Way”. Perhaps, but now I am not so sure that my “rescue” was what the Lord was up to.
How much of the pond jumping was due to my flighty persona and how much was due to God’s intervention I may never know. However, another potential spontaneous job switch which popped up last month has made me reconsider God’s role in such maneuvers.
Not particularly caring for my seperation from my wife and kids at holiday time recently, I went to be with them. While there I truly prayed my guts out that I could stay home for good. (In fact, this prayer had been sent up regularly BEFORE I arrived back in the States at Christmas.)
Because of the nature of my work, which is not tenured, I tell people that my “second job” is looking for employment. While home I spotted a job in my field within 45 minutes of my home and jumped at it.
I got a message back right away. The interview, held the week before my scheduled return to Finland, went well. It appeared I had a job offer and could return home.
I was excited when a colleague in Finland who knew about my possible departure sent me a message via social media and told me not to worry. There was a ready replacement for me, I was assured, so I was advised that I shouldn’t feel as if I was leaving my employer in the lurch.
Right after I read my coworker’s note, I checked my Email. Sitting in the the inbox was a message from my interviewer.
*Wow! Here we go again,” I thought. Nope.
It was a “Dear John” letter. Something went awry in the 48 hours between the interview and message from the person I thought could be my future boss.
I can’t say I was devastated, as accepting the job had its obstacles. However, I was definitely disappointed. My normal modus operandi of last minute salvation went belly up this time and the opportunity of remaining with my family with it.
I have been reflecting back on a whisper I believed God put in my ear before going home for the holidays. I had read a commentary in the Life Recovery Bible which had described the weaknesses of Abraham and Sarah as twofold.
One flaw in the lives of these patriarchs was there tendency to take action before God had revealed Himself on a matter. Another mistake they seemed to make was to not plan. God spoke to me that these were failures I myself needed to avoid.
I believe He told me that any move back to the States on my part needed to be well thought out. While reflecting on these matters pre-Christmas, I also had no specific direction from the Lord that I was to up and go home.
Indeed, even if the job had been offered I would have had great pause. I had legal, contractual and ethical commitments to consider which would have been difficult to extricate myself from.
One night in the midst of pondering all these grey areas, my wife read the Bible to me out loud. One of the verses she read was this one:
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him (I John 4:16).”
I determined as I heard this that I could rely on God’s love. Again, Abraham came to mind.
He had been told by God to take his son of promise Isaac up to a mountain and sacrifice him. Abraham trusted God so much that he did it, believing that even if Isaac died God would raise him up again (Hebrews 11:17-19).
I figured that even if I had to get back on that plane and come to Finland and resume my life without my family, God could fix matters so I could turn back around. As I sit here a few days later, that hasn’t happened.
However, it is clear to me that being away from my wife and kids is less than optimum. I still believe God can make a way.
It just may involve a little more detailed and orderly program of action than what I am used to. In fact, I am coming to believe God intends to rescue me through this kind of planning, and not via a rocket ship this time around.
Jet lagged and sleepless last night, I lay awake at 3 am worrying. Then I got up and read my Bible.
Knowing God wants and has a plan and wants me involved in the details actually comforted me. While I might have preferred a last minute phone call or cash infusion to make things right, I think in the long run this way is better.
Seeking God and planning for a while offers possibilities for stability. It also has potential for producing a much more rewarding future in a lot of areas.
Drawing up a game plan for action may not be as thrilling as my previous impulsive decisionaking, but it seems to be more in line with the Master’s plan. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t do things “just in time”.
Indeed, I saw this during the Psalm that was my main source throughout the holidays. The Psalmist writes:
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand (Psalm 40:1-2).
However, in the same song he cries,
Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
Be pleased to save me, LORD;
come quickly, LORD, to help me (Psalm 40:11-13).
AND
But as for me, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay (Psalm 40:17).
The man is desperate and believes he needs quick relief. However, he is willing to wait for God’s “just in time” moment within his desperation.
That’s not a contradiction. That’s a message that God works through, outside and (just) in time. In my case, He has decided to involve me and my participation a little more than usual.
